Its Party Time.....

One best thing in the world is joining the party with freind(S). Forget Microsoft and its products and embrace margarita :D. Vimal working as a software engineer in a reputed IT company in chennai, a normal guy working for himself. Day dreamer, lives in fantasy world (till now). He is kind of weirdo and thinks like "How the world will be if Dinasourus exists now", "What if men and women exchange their work for one day (only one day) ?".


It was a busy after noon. His mobile distrubed him, He was happy to see his ex-roomie and his best friend padhy (JSP). JSP is a dumbo doing crazy things. If these two guys joining together they will pull the hell up. Vimal was happy to see JSP's call. He answered "Dude, wassup??". " I am good buddy how are you holding ?" asked JSP. "Not good man, Same old job nothing great. So boring." cried vimal. "No worries dude, thats why friends are made for. To cheer up. I have a great plan for us." said JSP. "oh no no.. Dude your plan always creeps me" said vimal. "Dude you know what, I am getting married yaar" said JSP. "What the...congratss man." Vimal said. "Its ok. party wat say ?" inquired JSP. "Hell Yeah dude. when?" said vimal. "This weekend Bangalore. Come over here." said JSP. "Hmmm. Ok. Sounds good. will come on saturday." said vimal. "Ok then meet you saturday. Bye" said JSP and hung up.

Vimal left his office on friday earlier and left to bangalore. Met JSP ready to pick him up. Both of them hopped on to his bike and went to his new flat. This flat was gifted to JSP by his future father in law. Both went there and drank beer and slept ( As vimal insisted to take rest due to travel tiredness). Both woke up by 7 pm in the evening. "So buddy what is the plan ??" Inquired vimal. "hmmm I know a pub where girls are more than guys... How about that ??" winked jsp. "What is the point dude ?" vimal inquired. " Arey yaar. Get a girl and get a life dude." said JSP.

Vimal agreed and they reached the pub by 10 PM. They went directly to the bartender's table and oredered two Martinis. "To my wonderful friend and his yet to come new family" said vimal and raised his glass. Both made " clang " (noise) with their glass and drank. Drinks continued as they are on the verge of going to another world. 8th round in hand JSP saw a girl sitting besides vimal, having beer on one had and a cigarette on the other. "Vimal talk to her, ask her phone no." said JSP. "No dude..." vimal said. "Come on man..Don't be scared." said JSP. Vimal turned towards her, while she was busy searching for a lighter to light her cigarette. Vimal light her cigar and asked "So you are alone"."Yes what you gonna do ? are you the pshyco killer who kills girls coming alone to pubs???" inquired the blonde. Jsp smiled and whispered "ha ha ha on your face :D". "haa.. You know i speak truth when i am under the influence of liquor. I think i am intrested in you" said vimal.
"ha ha ha... Dude just today ended up my relation with my dumbass so called boyfriend" said the girl. " Ok can i get your number or something you know..for..". The girl interupted, came towards him and said "Boy because i am alone, it doesn't mean i will come with you. I am not your *****.". "ummmm....can you take off your hand from my thigh please..." blushed vimal. After this the girl got agitated and left. Vimal and JSP went for few more rounds and left to their flat.


As they were way too drunk to drive, they took a cab and reached their place. Cab dropped them infront of the mighty gate of their apartment. AS this apartment is newly built near the ORR they consist of more than 300 houses of same outlook. JSP is having the apartment in  J block. Both went to the elevator of the J block and reached their floor. JSP found surprised to see the house door opened and said ""WTF.. how did the door is opened? ". "You might have forgotten to lock the door dude" said vimal.Both went inside and sat on the couch (vimal scratching his head and thinking about closing the door). Vimal went to take a piss and came up with two beers in his hand and offered one to JSP and said to the partially passed away JSP "Dude you got a nice fridge yaar". JSP shook his head and murmered fridge.... Both passed on the couch for an hour. Both wake up and vimal said "Dude i am hungry.. I need grilled chicken". "Mouth watering dude. Me too" said JSP. Both went to kitchen and vimal found grilled chicken in the oven. "Liar Liar... How dare you to tell lie" said vimal with the chicken in his hand. JSP was awestruck and said "Seriously man.I do not know how this came into my kitchen".

They finished the whole chicken, Vimal said "I want her man..". "Who ??" exclaimed JSP. "The girl i met in the bar" said vimal. "You keep dreaming about her, I am gonna hit the bed. Good night" said JSP and went to the bedroom. A little while JSP called Vimal "Vimal come here...". Vimal went inside and both were dumbstruck to see the same girl they met on the bar on the bed. She had a bleeding on her forehead and also blood oozed out via her lips. Vimal and JSP did not know what to do. Vimal said "Dude i think she is dead??". Both scared and startled, JSP ran towards the exit with shouting. Vimal was struck near the girl. Seeing JSP running he also ran towards the door. JSP stopped near the door and started laughing aloud. Vimal asked "what happened yar?? are you become mad ??". JSP showed him the door and said "Look at this our flat is J17 (corner flat) in the third floor, This is J9 in second floor." Both laughed to the core and left to their flat.


Next day morning they discussed what all happened with the coffe cup in their hand (on Balcony). They managed to see the same girl on the second floor balcony alive.
She had a bandagge on her head.

Advice

Once there was a wise man lived in a town called farfaraway. He was so wise that he could tell solutions and advice people to get rid of their miseries.One day he brought two horse calves.He got a problem, that he couldn't differentiate between the horses.He fed the same horse twice and make him took bath twice.He wanted to end this confusion and thought some ideas.

First of all he cut one horse's hair and now he can differentiate between them like horse with hair and horse without hair. Problem was solved for few days, till horse's hair grow. Again confusion started, so this time he tied a bell around the neck of one horse. Again the problem was solved for some days, while running around the farm. Horse lost its bell. Wise man was pushed into the same situation again.

He was frustrated and put initials on one horse shoe. Wise man thought the problem was resolved. Few days later, the initials on the horse shoe was gone. This time it tested his patience. He took his time and finally come up with a new idea. He measured the height of both the horses. He memorised the heights like white horse is 3ft 4 inch and black horse is 3ft 6inch :D .pretty funny that he couldn't differentiate between the horse which is by birth of its colour. Imagine he is helping to solve other's problem. He is advicing others about living.


Cheap and easy available in this world is advice. Anyone can advice about anything. Folks please do not beleive blindly in other's advice (even he/she is your best friend or even more). Advice is worth of listening only when the giver has been on the situation and experienced the situation to the core. Do ask suggestions from anyone. Perception may differ from eachother, that will make you to understand the situation clearly.


PS : My advice is don't listen to other's advice or do not advice others... :D

Acronyms & Abbrevations (Essential for L!fe )

Its been quite few years, I have been texting my girl friends. I have been repeatedly thrown into black hole, when she say something in abbrevation like brb,BBL. Beleive me, I have stopped texting to many because of this. I do not want this to be happen for any other poor soul like me. Refer the below Acronyms and Abbrevations.


AFAIK --> As Far As I Know
AFK --> Away From Keyboard
ASAP --> As Soon As Possible
BBL --> Be Back Later
BBN --> Bye Bye Now
BBS --> Be Back Soon
BEG --> Big Evil Grin
BF --> Boyfriend
BIBO --> Beer In, Beer Out
BRB --> Be Right Back
BTW --> By The Way
BWL --> Bursting With Laughter
C&G --> Chuckle and Grin
CICO --> Coffee In, Coffee Out
CID --> Crying In Disgrace
CNP --> Continued (in my) Next Post
CP --> Chat Post(a chat message)
CRBT --> Crying Real Big Tears
CSG --> Chuckle Snicker Grin
CYA --> See You (Seeya)
CYAL8R --> See You Later (Seeyalata)
DLTBBB --> Don't Let The Bed Bugs Bite
EG --> Evil Grin
EMSG --> Email Message
FC --> Fingers Crossed
FTBOMH --> From The Bottom Of My Heart
FYI --> For Your Information
FWIW --> For What It's Worth
GAL --> Get A Life
GF --> Girlfriend
GFN --> Gone For Now
GMBA --> Giggling My Butt Off
GMTA --> Great Minds Think Alike
GTSY --> Glad To See You
H&K --> Hug and Kiss
HABU --> Have A Better 'Un
HAGN --> Have A Good Night
HAGU --> Have A Good 'Un
HHIS --> Hanging Head in Shame
HUB --> Head Up Butt
IAE --> In Any Event
IC --> I See
IGP --> I Gotta Pee
IMNSHO --> In My Not So Humble Opinion
IMO --> In My Opinion
IMCO --> In My Considered Opinion
IMHO --> In My Humble Opinion
IOW --> In Other Words
IRL --> In Real Life
IWALU --> I Will Always Love You
JMO --> Just My Opinion
JTLYK --> Just To Let You Know
KIT --> Keep In Touch
KOC --> Kiss On Cheek
KOL --> Kiss On Lips
L8R --> Later
L8R G8R --> Later 'Gater
LHM --> Lord Help Me
LHO --> Laughing Head Off
LHU --> Lord Help Us
LMAO --> Laughing My A$$ Off
LMSO --> Laughing My Socks Off
LOL --> Laugh Out Loud
LSHMBB --> Laughing So Hard My Belly is Bouncing
LSHMBH --> Laughing So Hard My Belly Hurts
LSHTTARDML --> Laughing So Hard The Tears Are Running Down My Leg
LTNS --> Long Time No See
LTS --> Laughing To Self
LUWAMH --> Love You With All My Heart
LY --> Love Ya
MTF --> More To Follow
NRN --> No Reply Necessary
NADT --> Not A Darn Thing
OIC --> Oh, I See
OL --> Old Lady (significant other)
OM --> Old Man (significant other)
OTOH --> On The Other Hand
OTTOMH --> Off The Top of My Head
PDS --> Please Don't Shoot
PITA --> Pain In The A$$
PM --> Private Message
PMFJI --> Pardon Me For Jumping In
PMP --> Peed My Pants
POAHF --> Put On A Happy Face
QSL --> Reply
QSO --> Conversation
QT --> Cutie
ROFL --> Rolling On Floor Laughing
ROFLAPMP --> ROFL And Peeing My Pants
ROFLMAOAY --> ROFLMAO At You
ROFLMAOWTIME --> ROFLMAO With Tears In My Eyes
ROFLUTSROFL --> Unable to Speak
RTFM --> Read The F****** Manual!
SETE --> Smiling Ear To Ear
SHID --> Slaps Head In Disgust
SNERT --> Snot-Nosed Egotistical Rude Teenager
SO --> Significant Other
SOT --> Short Of Time
SOTMG --> Short Of Time Must Go
SWAK --> Sealed With A Kiss
SWAS --> Scientific Wild A$$ Guess
SWL --> Screaming with Laughter
SYS --> See You Soon
TA --> Thanks Again
TGIF --> Thank God It's Friday
TCOY --> Take Care Of Yourself
TILII --> Tell It Like It Is
TNT --> Till Next Time
TOY --> Thinking Of You
TTFN --> Ta Ta For Now
TTYL --> Talk To You Later
WAS --> Wild A$$ Guess
WB --> Welcome Back
WTH --> What/Who The Heck (or sub an 'F' for the 'H')
YBS --> You'll Be Sorry
YG --> Young Gentleman
YL --> Young Lady
YM --> Young Man



Courtesy-- Various search engines...

Dream comes true

It was a hot sunny day in the mid of may. I was waiting for a bus to reach office. Got a bus some how after 15 mins, hopped on. As the driver of the bus thought himself as F1 lewis hamilton and driving the bus rashly. It was very difficult to walk inside the bus. Accidentally i hit a girl with my elbow on her head (not hard though), who was standing on the way.

She turned, I said "oh I am Sorry....". She smiled and said "Its ok..". She was in black salwar with matching black leather hand bag. She was wearing a simple make up with a loose hair, which suits best on her.. She was adorable with exact height matching mine ;). I thought of start a conversation, So i went near and asked "Did we meet somewhere?". She turned towards me and replied with a grin "Hmmm..... i don't think so". Thank god she didn't yell at me, I turned back with a great disappointment. After 5 minutes she came to me and asked "You work in XYZ right ??". I was surprised and replied "Yes.. How did you know that?". I saw with your friends roaming near this SEZ.


I asked her "Roaming in the sense in what contenxt good or bad ??". "I do not know. It seems good for me." she replied. "I am nice guy u know." I said with a blush. "ha huh ?? ok. see ya" she said and left with out hearing me saying "when? Shall we meet again". I abondened my bike at home and started going by bus. Bad luck did not get a chance to meet her for a couple of days. All my prayer came true after three days,i met on her on the same route.



We had a long chat on the bus. This continued for another week and I finally got her phone number. Took this whole friendship thing to next level. We had lunch together on few occasions (as we were on the same place, It was not a tough to ask her out on lunch :D) . we started hanging out frequently. I flet good to hang out with her, we understood each other.Relationship was healthy and grown deeply into me. Finally after two months, I wanted to propose to her. I asked her to meet me on cafe day near her house on sunday evening. I went there with a platinum ring with a diamond on it. We sat opposite on the lounge and ordered chocolate lava cake (as starter :( ). She noticed my nervousness and tension and asked me "Is everything alright with you??".I sighed and told her "See i have been planning this for a week now." "Planning??" she inquired. "Yes..Sonali will you marry me ?? Be with me always till my death"I said. "She become so emotional and dropped tears on her table . "No Raj... I do not think it will work out. for us" she dropped a bomb in my little heart.


"wha...What...? Why??" I inquired. "I am very close to my mother"she said. "so what"i replied. "Let me complete... She knows about us and she told to my father two days back. My father is so angry and he wanted me to marry the guy he already chosen for me :(" she said and cried. I do not know what to say, closed my eyes and heard this strange voice "Adinga.. Saavigiraki..ootla sollitu vanthutiya" (You moron.. Have you got your ticket to HELL). Opened my eyes and see myself in a still running bus . My bus driver yelled at an auto driver on the opposite side of the road.

I fell asleep while travelling in the bus and dreaming (standing and sleeping ;)). Turned around and saw the same girl. I saw while boarding in. She smiled at me (I guess she saw me standing and sleeping like a horse), came to me and asked "You work in wipro right ??". I told myself "oh.Nooo.no..no." and got down from the bus as we reached office without answering her (not even looked at her :( ).

Go crazy about Fitness

I know it is pretty weird about the heading. I have come across too many men (few women too) who are scared of going into Gym when the time is right, that is when they are young and still have time to sculpt their physical appearance. Many of us understand the worth of fitness (gym) only when we got bloated body. What i am trying to convey here is we have to allocate a little time for fitness (Even we are busy dying). Those who joined gym newly or made their minds to join, let me show some simple steps to follow before and after gym. Because fitness is one big devil expect us to be more discipline towards it.

Sleep right :

You might have heard this phrase quiet often "Sleep tight" it should be sleep right (well according to me). Give proper rest to your muscles, so that you are allowing  decompose dead cells and develop new cells (muscle tissue). Preferable 7-8 hrs sleep is must.

Flush it off :

Our muscles contains 70-75 % of water. Drink enormous amount of water to stay away from dehydration and to balance the loss of body fluids due to exercise (or other activities). Drinking plenty of water also helps in burning fat pretty fast.

Add protein in breakfast :

Protein in breakfast, has two main advantage.
1.  Our body takes its time to digest protein, so You will not feel hungry for some time.
 ( This will stop you from taking heavy meal as lunch)
2. It helps the new growing tissue (new muscles) to grow better.

Go Green :

Plan your diet with more of Green vegetables and fruits.

Carbs before two hours :

Small amount of easily digestable carbohydrated, two hours befor gym will give you immense power and intensity to do workouts in gym. Grape fruit or an Orange will
also do the same wonders.

Caffine (My favourite) :

Coffee is the second popular drug used by humans next to alcohol.Caffeine will be absorbed very quickly. It reach the blood system via small intenstine. Caffeine helps
in shredding weight and also provides enough power to do workout intensively (Drink coffee, 1 hour prior to your workouts). Adding slim milk to the coffee keeps you
away from obesity.

Intensity matters :

Go into the Arena, Do workouts intensively for 40 minutes (max 60 minutes ) get out of there. More than that is just a waste of time. Intense workout for 40 minutes is much better than lethargic workout of 2 hours.

Order should be like this :

ABS (if applicable, because daily we SHOULD NOT train stomach )
Weight trainig
Cardio (treadmill, elliptical, Stationary bike)

Protein your buddy :

Take protein immediately after workout. Anything you have within 30 minutes post workout will be absorbed effectively by our body. so go for protein to develop lean muscles. Protein does not need to be protein drinks, it can also be eggs and numerous natural resources.

Intermittent fasting :

Last but not least, those who want to trim extra kilos from their body, practice intermittent fasting (quiet, consult physician before practicing) weekly once.

(Not advisable to carry on with it, Please do practice for certain period and avoid it).

Exercise to stimulate, not to annihilate. The world wasn't formed in a day, and neither were we. Set small goals and build upon them -- Lee Haney (8 times Mr.Olympia champion)

PS : All the above is mostly concentrated on men. This does not mean women should not bother about it. It also applicable for women also except growing big, developing
lean muscles and intense workouts.

Treadmill Vs Stationary bike Vs Elliptical machine

I dig down deep to find out the best out of treadmill, stationary bike (cycle) and the elliptical. So here i quote some pros and cons of these machines.

Treadmill
Pros :
It gives you of walking, jogging, running or hiking experience with variable pace.
It is effective. It burns much more calories than stationary bike.
Consistent pacing, Can set your exact pace and measure your exact distance/time.
cons :
Treadmill is boring.
If you have joint problems or undergone joints surgery (knee joints), treadmill is not your machine.
It is not good for those weighs more than 95kgs, because it will create impact on your joints on long run.
(Because the shock absorbers in treadmill won’t work)
It will not provide total body workout like elliptical machine.

Stationary bikes
Pros :
Stationary bikes are recommended for beginners or those with lower-body injuries.
It allows longer workout sessions, unlike treadmill you will not get bored.
It provides and aerobic workout.
strengthen your quads (front thighs) and hamstrings (back thighs), the anterior tibia, ankle joints and the pelvis
It helps relieve stress on the spine and discomfort in the back.
Builds endurance and stamina through longer cardio sessions.
Cons :
Stationary bikes don’t give a full body workout
You must keep good posture during any workout by keeping your body fully upright to avoid injury to the pelvis or back.
Burns the least amount of calories than elliptical or treadmill.

Elliptical
I would say elliptical is the hybrid of treadmill and the stationary bike, having great features with it.
Pros:
Elliptical machine offers a high-intensity, full-body workout (thanks to the pedals and handles).
Less stressfull on knees, back.
Uses oval motion (can go forward and backwards) to help strengthening different muscles.
Stimulates jogging and running motion.
Also reduces significant calorie levels.
Cons :
Full body motion is too difficult for beginners.
You cannot acheive without keeping the posture correct.
Low impact on legs.


All three of these cardio machines will burn calories and exercise your heart and lungs. The treadmill requires the most intensity and burns the most calories, but the elliptical and bike are low impact, which will cause future injuries. If possible, include all three into your cardio routine to reap the benefits of each machine There’s no one best way of exercising, unless it’s the one that you enjoy most because you’re more likely to keep doing it regularly.

Is that It- The BegininG

Girls are girls… After all that happened with her dad. She called me and told me the scenario. Imagine a full trained police force is coming towards you to arrest you and make you suffer for the rest of life. It is a now or never situation for me.



I went to my dad ( who was busy with his sisters chatting.). I said “Dad i wanna talk to you ” . “About what my son?” Replied my dad.

I   : Can i have a min in private ?”.
Dad : Ok… come, what is it?? why are you so tensed..
I   : Pa… I love Anjali.
Dad : ha? who is anjali.? :O
I   : I mean a girl from delhi.
Dad : Ok leave this topic right now. We will discuss this once we reach home
I   : No dad. this is it. Her dad is police officer. He is coming with his full batalion to arrest me.
(I felt sorry to manipulate my dad. But no other go :evil: )
Dad : who the hell is he ??
I   : He is an IPS officer recently got transfered from Delhi.



My dad immediately rang up Police commissioner of chennai. “Mr.Bhatia Ram mohan here… Yeah yeah i am fine. An IPS officer is going to arrest my son, Because my son loved his daughter. Can you do me a favour.” asked my dad. “Yes mohan tell me, what can i do for you.” inquired Bhatia. Immediately send a local patrol force to my house and arrange a police force minimum of two inspectors and send them over my home. will text you my address.” said my dad. “Sure sure will do that Mohan. Not a problem. Give me a call at anytime if it gets too messy. I will be there.” said Mr.Bhatia. “Yeah sure” thanked my dad.



We had wait for 45 minutes, Two TATA SUMOS with 10 police men and a patrol vehichle with 3 men came to my aunt’s house (ofcourse all my relatives were anxious to know about the drama going on, Especially my mother was afraid and shot me with thousands of questions). My dad went to them and ask them to present here, not to go anywhere else. Exactly after 30 minutes a hyundai city car, a bolero and a police van came, they were totally 10. They were astonished to saw already parked police vehicles around my aunt’s house. Mr.Rahul shukla came out of the car (wearing a Rayban coolers) and sent ravi to inquire about me. I was standing besides the door with my dad. Ravi came and asked “Sir you here?”. “yeah ravi, This is my house and you came here to arrest my son” said my dad. “Sir there should a mistake happened. I will talk to DSP sir.” said Mr.Ravi. “By the way who is your DSP?” asked dad. “He is a honest officer recently got transferred from delhi” answered Mr.Ravi. “why should an honest police officer should get transfered”said my dad and winked at me. We all started laughing (infact loudly ;) ), Mr.shukla might heard this and came towards us.



My Dad and Mr.Rahul shukla exchanged glance with 10 feet earth seperated both of them. My Dad ignored rahul and went towards his force and said something to the main guy. Suddenly they started their vehicle and left. I was confused, asked myself “What is going on here ???”. My dad came back and asked Mr.shukla “So you are the one came with full police force to arrest my son?”. “So you are the one, who asked your romeo son to hit on my daughter?” inquired Mr.shukla. “Shukla ji words… Mind your words. I am IAS. higher than you, higher than all of you (pointing finger towards his entire team).”. “You are always so cocky, aren’t you Mohan ?” (what the hell, Did they know each other?? :O ). Rahul whispered something in ravi’s ears. Ravi command his team to disappear. My dad asked Ravi to stay and he stayed.



Both of them (my dad and Rahul) ignored me and went inside the house. I was stunned by the drama happening around me. Both sat on sofa and started conversing about their life and career.After talking for a minute, My dad asked rahul “You haven’t met my son right ??, No no wait a minute.. you know him thats why you came here to arrest him?”. Both laughed to the core. I felt embarrassed and anger rose to my head. I stopped them “Dad, what nonsense is this ?”. “Ease up son, he is my buddy from the academy days” said my dad. “So what, are you missing something important here ?? :evil: ” i said. “come on son, He is my man from olden days. How can he refuse to give his daughter to you?.” said my dad. “Woh woh, wait a sec. Mohan i am your best friend at the same time i am a father. I will find a better guy for my daughter” said rahul.
“Are you mad ? can you spot one guy who is better than my son ? He is my pride till now he consulted before doing anything in his life, all of the above he is in good job in MNC ” argued my dad. “I accept mohan, But he eat non veg,He drinks.” said rahul. My dad stared at me and said “So what who is not drinking nowadays. It has become party ettiquete to drink dude. Even we shared drinks a lot of times remember. :D ”. “Yes uncle even anjali will drink at parties :roll: ” I blabbered.



Both stared at me (i can see the anger in rahul’s eyes. I shouldn’t have spoke :( ).”hmmm.. Let me think” said rahul. “what is there to think man. We are buddies till today, Why can’t we become relatives from now on ?” asked my dad. after a long pause rahul said “ok, I will ask my wife and daughter. We will decide then”. “yeah yeah, But before my family want to see the girl, then we will decide ;) ” said my dad.I thought “Holy mother.. dad please don’t spoil this”. rahul with a smile in his face called his driver and asked him to bring Mrs.rahul and my angel.



After 30 minutes rahul’s family arrived. Anjali was afraid, as we did not speak to each other from morning. Both of them came into the house, My mother and her mother met each other. Anjali was shocked to see the things around her and she was dumb struck (I guess she expected a typicall south indian action movie scene there ;) ). Both of our family started discussing about our marriage. I know that guy’s family will go to the girl’s house to see the girl, But here in my case it is just opposite :P .
Rahul clearly told that we can have marriage after one year, Because anjali has to finish her studies and get a job. I too honestly agree with him and i would get one whole year to enjoy love life ;) .



After one year, anjali finished her studies and to all of our surprise. She got a job (as Business Analyst) in same MNC where i was working. Our marriage was like a heavenly festival.

Man and the wife lived happily ever after.